So it’s right before spring break, you’re tired as shit of Hasbrouck and you want to have the most superlative meal of your life… or at least not get food poisoning.
It just so happens that I have the best recipe ever to hit this side of campus.
Here’s what you do: if you have any class after 3, skip. You need to prepare your taste buds for the cuisine ahead.
Now, go to Stop & Shop because even though Shoprite is technically more convenient, it’s sketchy as hell.
While there, grab a large sized Stouffer’s mac n’ cheese. If you have never eaten Stouffer’s mac n’ cheese, get the family sized box because you noobs will go crazy for it. Also, side note: what the hell have you been doing with your life? Eating green beans? Seriously?
By the way, this is vegetarian. You don’t need your conscience thinking about the cow you killed for your meal.
Next, pick up some tin foil, because you are going to need it for the TGIF mozzarella sticks you will buy right down the aisle. If you have never eaten those, then I have nothing left to say to you.
Later, throw four sticks into the oven in your dorm/house for around 10 minutes. Try not to die in the process.
Drinks! So lets face it, most of you are not 21. Don’t worry, I have something even better for you than a gin and tonic. Take a tub of cookies n’ cream ice cream, a bottle of malted mix powder, and milk, and mix. It’s like a shake, but 100 times better. Plus you get to eat your dessert at the same time as the food. #rebel.
You’re set! Cook the mac n’ cheese and mozzarella sticks, get a plate, a fork and a tall glass for the malt. You are now in heaven.