When beginning this position as Sports Editor, I never knew the opportunities that would arise, but sadly, I also was unaware of the difficulties I would run into.
As a student, everyone knows the difficulty of time management. Depending on how much you pack your schedule daily, this does differ.
In my case, I have always been good with managing my time and scheduling my days to never miss a deadline or an easy assignment. In doing this, sadly, it has led to immense levels of stress, anxiety and dread for things I once loved.
This week, specifically, I realized the difficulty I had in writing my articles. I love sports and I love sports writing. I freelance for high school varsity athletics, and sometimes it is my favorite part of the week.
What am I doing that is causing this dread?
I have turned work that I enjoy into a job that is never ending. This is supposed to be enjoyable, this is supposed to better my day and my life entirely, but I dread the work at every turn. I have been hoping that this is more because it is almost to the midpoint of the semester and I’m stressed, but I am scared. Am I over what I have spent my entire college career working towards? Or am I just tired of the consistent pull on my life to be better?
These questions themselves will never have any answers, as I have to find them through experience. I know everyone works insurmountably hard, but for some reason I am having my own pity party this week.
Why am I unable to handle any inconvenience and ultimately then ruin my entire plan?
Life can’t be planned, and I know that. Some part of me always attempts to control my path, though. The path of life is never able to be planned and every turn and every sound you make changes where you may end up, but I can’t wrap my mind around it.
These are things I definitely have to change in my life, but sometimes I bask in feeling bad about it, which is toxic in itself. In saying this, it does go back and forth between mental well-being and relaxation, but it also shows me who really matters in my life.
I am going to use this as an opportunity to call out my staff for everything they have done for me during my time on The Oracle. To everyone on staff, thank you for being my friend when I needed one. I have had a tough time on this campus making friends, and I never feel more at home than when I am in the office with all of you.
Specifically, to my sports copy editors, Jared and Emily. I can’t thank you both enough for everything you have done for me and this section. We have brought this section alive, and without your love for sports and writing, it would never be what it is now. Both of you have flourished more than I could ever have expected, and for that, I need to praise you. Thank you for everything.
After writing this, it does sound as if I am graduating or leaving my position, but I’m not. This paper is my life, and I need to find the small things I love, rather than dreading the small things I choose not to like.
Happiness is supposed to be love and appreciation, so I am appreciating the people who give me joy each and everyday. I owe my fun in our office to all of you. Thank you for teaching me hard work, appreciation and to find love in my work. I will forever remember this staff, and will cherish every moment I have left.