I thought about this column for some days now, and I had no clue what to write. I used to have so many ideas, and I realize now they seemed so great because they were heart-wrenching and would really “grab a reader’s attention,” but I’ve realized I am much happier now than I once was.
Recently, I was speaking with a close friend and she told me she began to internalize her desires. I questioned what she meant.
“If you internalize your desires and focus on what the universe wants, the universe will bless you,” she said. “I started going with what was in front of me, and stopped questioning why or what my next step may be.”
I paused for awhile, and thought about what this may mean to me. Something had finally clicked.
For months I have been battling internally with where my life is headed, and what I can change now to make it happen. I have been so focused on changing these aspects of my life, that I had completely stopped living.
She was right, I had to go with what was right in front of me.
I have a beautiful life, and I never really stepped back and looked at it from a wider lens. I’ve come to realize how lucky I am because of all the love I have surrounding me, including my support system that exceeds any expectations.
My friend showed me a way of life that many people have tried to live before, but I think I was finally ready to listen. I knew I was taking a bad turn in my life, like I had in the past, and I was clinging to everyone and anything to hold on.
My past does not define me and will not be compared to my future any longer. I have finally looked at myself in the mirror and believed that I could do it, and that I could do much better.
I now look to my future as a goal, rather than a necessary ending to my life. I look to it as something that is bound to happen either way, so I should stop planning every step.
If you know me, I am a very schedule-loving person. I write everything down, and plan my days accordingly. I realize now instead of looking at my lists and schedules as something I had to do, I can look to them as stepping stones to my desires.
I’m studying journalism and digital media production, and until this semester, I felt as though I was just floating through my classes. I did the necessary work, but never really fell in love with what I was doing.
This semester, while working as the sports editor on The Oracle, I started to connect with what I was accomplishing. The staff I work with build each other up, and have the most intelligent conversations I have heard in a small room filled with college students.
People that build you up are the most important ones to hold close, as not many people will explain your flaws, but hold you closer to show you how to fix them.
I am lucky enough to see most of my favorite people almost every day, and every day we remind each other how worthy we are, whether it be through words of affirmation or casual conversation.
If you have people in your life that you hold close, hold them tighter. You never actually know when you won’t get to live these moments anymore, so internalize each of them.
I love each and every person that has helped me along my journey to a more powerful me, whether they know they impacted me or not.