One night, as I was scrolling through Instagram, I came across a reel posted by Sabrina Carpenter. I’m not much of a “Carpenter,” so I didn’t pay much attention to the post; but then I saw the highlighted comment. What struck me was not the comment itself but the fact that the user referred to Sabrina Carpenter as “Sab.”
Initially, I was confused, as the commenter is presumably not personally familiar with the “Espresso” pop star. When I give someone a nickname, usually a friend, it’s because I’ve known that person for a while. Then, I gave that person the benefit of the doubt and thought, “maybe Sabrina Carpenter lets her fans call her ‘Sab.’” However, after scrolling through a plethora of articles and TikTok posts, I could not find a single acknowledgement of Carpenter allowing her fans to use any nickname to address her.
Despite my failed research, it does appear that Sab is a commonly used nickname by Sabrina Carpenter’s fan base, as I found another example where a fan referred to their “Espresso” adorned car as the “Sab Cab.”
Both cases listed are examples of parasocial behavior. The phrase refers to a non-consensual bond where a person extends emotional energy, interest and time to another persona — usually a celebrity — who has no knowledge of the other’s existence.
Parasocial relationships have always existed, but they’ve been more discussed recently thanks to high-profile celebrities speaking out against “superfan” behavior.
On Aug. 19, Chappell Roan called out “creepy” fan behavior on her TikTok, saying in one video, “I don’t care that it’s normal … That does not make it okay.” Roan would echo the same sentiment on Aug. 23 in an Instagram post, adding, “I’m not afraid of the consequences for demanding respect.”
Roan has since revealed that she was diagnosed with severe depression, which she cites as a result of her explosive rise to stardom. One aspect of her changed life Roan highlighted as being particularly harmful for her mental wellbeing was that she can no longer go outside without security in fear of being harassed.
I bring up Roan partly due to her being a huge mainstream artist, but also to show the importance of seeing the person behind a celebrity’s persona. Celebrities are still made of skin and bones and are as susceptible, if not even more, to the same mental health issues us “common folk” suffer from. I know it is difficult to see a celebrity past their aura, but there was a time where many of our favorite artists and actors lived normal lives too: I think it’s about time to recognize that fact.
Most of us have heard of a “stan” account, which is created by a fan to assert their undying, and unpaid, love for a celebrity. The term has been proudly used not only by hardcore fanatics, but entire fan bases, too. 24 years ago, however, “stan” was coined by Eminem to describe an obsessive, deranged fan.
I think in today’s world, people are generally unaware of stan’s origins, mainly because the word has a rather positive connotation across fan communities. I didn’t even know where the word came from until a coworker informed me of the Eminem song of the same name.
I recommend anyone to watch the music video for “Stan,” as it shows the song’s protagonist, a fictional Eminem fan named Stanley, dissociating from his real life to “become” his idol. As the video progresses, the audience sees Stanley’s life unravel more and more as he demands Eminem’s attention in increasingly twisted fan letters. It is a hard viewing, as Stanley pushes aside his pregnant girlfriend to devote all his energy and time to obsessing over the rap artist. Stanley’s behavior rubs onto his brother, Mathew, who, at the end of the video, dons the same “Slim Shady” attire and bleach-blond hair as Stanley.
The lyrics for “Stan” do a great job at narrating Stanley’s deteriorating mental health. In the first verse, or Stanley’s first fan letter, the character addresses possible reasons for why he has yet to receive a letter back from Eminem, admitting that “there probably was a problem at the post office” or that his handwriting was too sloppy. In the proceeding verses, Stanley is clearly frustrated by his idol’s silence and discusses previous cases where he was seemingly ignored by the rap star, such as when Stanley and Mathew were “refused” an autograph after waiting outside a “blistering cold” night after a concert.
In the last verse, Eminem finally gets back to Stanley, who says that he never intended to ignore the man. Eminem also encourages Stanley to live his own life, not para-socially through Slim Shady’s.
I think Eminem does a great job in “Stan” to show anyone, not just his own fans, that it’s crucial to not get attached to celebrities. Stanley’s psychotic behavior should have been a clear detractor for people to not develop parasocial relationships; instead, the term “stan” has been embraced by online fan communities.
Taylor Swift’s “Swiftie” fan base has been regularly accused of parasocially attaching themselves to the biggest pop star in the world. Swift herself has witnessed how her fans view her, with some being much more obsessive than others.
In June 2023, Mitchell Taebel of Indiana was arrested on charges of stalking, invasion of privacy and intimidation. The previous month, Taebel broke into the same building where Swift’s Nashville apartment is located. Prior to that incident, Taebel allegedly sent Swift a horrifying voice memo through Instagram, saying that “he would happily wear a bomb if he [could not] be with his soulmate.” Taebel’s behavior followed by other stalking events targeted at Swift.
Social media has enabled fans to talk very openly, and at times very disturbingly, about their favorite mainstream artists. In some cases, people acknowledge a celebrity in a funny, satirical manner, as seen in the Ryan Gosling “He’s literally me” memes.
In Chris Evans’ case, fans cannot get enough of ‘America’s ass.’
In November 2022, Evans publicly announced that he was dating fellow actor Alba Baptista, who he had started dating a year prior. Some of Evans’ ardent supporters felt betrayed by this news: not because he was dating Baptista, but, as infamously put by Twitter user TeamEvans 13, the “reveal of the relationship.” In a previous interview, the “Avengers: Endgame” star stated that he was single. The stan account continued by questioning how truthful of a person Evans really is, claiming that this revelation was as back-stabbing as finding out that Santa isn’t real.
Other disapproving fans of Evans’ relationship attempted to defame Baptista’s image through the #cancelAlbaBaptista Twitter trend, where users reposted racist tweets seemingly from Baptista’s account. These tweets were not by the actress, but from the account KikoisHot, which has no affiliation with Baptista. It remains unclear whether the perpetrators of the trend knew that the tweets were not from Baptista: regardless, platform users who opposed Evans’ relationship from the get-go spread misinformation that could have severely harmed Baptista’s image.
So far, I’ve only spoken about recent parasocial cases. Let’s turn the clock back to Dec. 8, 1980, the day that John Lennon was shot and killed by Mark David Chapman in NYC. Chapman had been a fan of The Beatles since childhood. As he grew older, he became increasingly disillusioned with the band, which Chapman believed was getting “corrupted by monetary greed.” The only time in which Chapman and Lennon met was on that day.
That story is obviously an extreme example of a “fan”-celebrity parasocial relationship. I bring it up because it is terrifying that one person developed such a distorted view of a band he previously admired that he would eventually wind up murdering a band member.
Parasocial relationships are often extreme, from being just plain weird to life-threatening. Of course, it is normal to enjoy a celebrity’s work. I find great pleasure in writing about movies and music, and more often than not I discuss the individuals involved in the making of either medium.
At the end of the day, I try to make those discussions based around my respect for anyone’s talents. I try not to speculate on any high-profile person’s personal life. If I do mention anyone’s off-screen life, I usually consult interviews for my research or, in the case of musicians, their own song lyrics.
In the wake of more celebrities condemning parasocial relationships, it is important for everyone to recognize such behavior. If you’re truly a fan of a celebrity’s work, then you’d respect their boundaries.
