By the time you read this, I will no longer be the news editor for The New Paltz Oracle. Least important, I won’t be a full-time college student either. I’ll be off into the sunset, to follow my psychotic dreams of fame. You want to know how to be famous? Send in an audition tape to the “Real World,” and for some reason do a lot of splits, convince them that you’re dramatic and demonstrate that you can pull a weave off when cornered. Once accepted, go wild. Throw shit, scream a lot, drink, drink some more and turn that mother out. Hopefully this will lead to your own spinoff, your spot on celebrity rehab or worst case, six hours in jail. However, there’s always the reunion and God help those bitches.
Then again, who am I kidding? I can’t even make a proper phone call to journalism sources. You can most likely find me finishing “Battlestar Galactica” on Netflix.
Somehow I think I lost the point of this “reflection.” I’m here to talk about the one thing in college that I actually enjoyed: the Oracle. There was a time when I was seriously considering not returning to the news chair a second time. Then I got drunk and made the best decision of my life, and believe me friends, that don’t happen often. Needless to say, you all know what that was. I’m still here.
I’m still a firm believer in the Cosmic Slap, and how bad shit just seems to follow me incessantly. My time as news editor has been marked with confrontations, verbal assaults, let downs and M.I.A contributing writers. I guess they took a wrong turn in the Cokykendall dungeon. That’s life and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s not going to be sunny all the time. It has to go supernova sometimes. With the Oracle, you get real world experience, and the faster you learn there are real shit heads in this college microcosm, the faster it’ll transform you into a stronger, more capable person. This too shall pass.
Fact time! According to a Business Wire study conducted in 2008, “more than 76 percent of college students have read their college newspaper in the past month.” Another impressing find states, “Over 76 percent of faculty members have read their publication in the last month, with 51 percent reading it in the last week.” The college newspaper is an integral part of campus life, and the numbers show that its survival be assured. Now let’s ask a professional.
“The college newspaper continues to hold its value with students as a key source for news and information and despite growth in technology and new media options, we consistently mark very strong audiences who rely on this source to maintain a connection to their campus community and local happenings,” Samantha Skey, executive vice president of strategic marketing of Alloy Media + Marketing, said.
Meanwhile: Andrew, you’re doing a wonderful job, just put those damn previews on the website. Oh and I quit. Julie Bird, I’ll miss our ladies who lunch meals and you drawing the line when #RealTalk becomes #ViciousTalk; hopefully, we’ll be friends after this. I’m having such a “Zantastic” time writing this reflection and mentioning you here. I’d like to say Cat Tacopina, resident psycho and co-glitter egg sister, you have all the oxygen you need. It’s up to you now to make sure the room is never quiet for longer than five seconds (the exact length of awkward silence it takes for a gay baby to be born somewhere in the world). Katherine Speller, bring me the axe! The deed is done. Prom queen Clarissa, please return one day to take the news chair, you’re perfect. Jaleesa, you may or may not read this, but thank you for everything. I do respect what you did here. Caterina, you get the shit stick, you understand me. Shard on, sister. Kelsey, it was a pleasure getting to know you and scaring you on Monday morning office hours when you were the only one there, never got old. Suzy, I think this girl got butt implants or something, I hope you come over to news more often. Carolyn Quimby, to the tune of “Eleanor Rigby,” thanks for forever ruining that song and thank you for being a diligent copy editor. You’re good people. Robin, thanks for the awesome photos and being hyper-organized. Sam, good looks with the map. Ben, keep it real and boogie on; I hope you’re YouTube famous one day. The distro team, thanks for doing our dirty work (and for the record I hate anything above a 28, too). Sara, I’m not sure what you do, witchcraft Web-ery, but thanks for making the site look awesome. Pete, thanks for helping me coming up with sick headlines about murder, it was ‘snow’ laughing matter. Last and least, laolaoaloalaoaal my mirror sister, the shade of it all that you’re on the bottom probably searching for your name thinking I forgot. Hey, smile because you’re news chair and you did it and you’re going to be great. Keep hard on them and crack that whip. I’ll be here if you need me, but only if you REALLY need me.
When in doubt, just remember student-based journalism, i.e. the Oracle, gives you the opportunity to know how your school operates and to profile those who are in charge. I am a better person because of it. No one can take that from me. How many people can say they’ve asked their college/university president a direct question, or got to know their student leaders to the point of first-name harassment? I don’t do sappy, but this graf is oozing. I’m going to miss the program and the paper. However, I know there’s a lot more out there for me that I have to experience and explore. So I slip you my sincerest sayonara. I’m signing off for the final time as an undergraduate: the real John C. Brandi.