Spring Break Never


Screen shot 2013-03-14 at 3.21.51 PM

Pardon my language, but what the fuck is “Spring Breakers?”

A short while ago, John Tappen showed me the trailer for this positively horrendous looking movie starring Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and James Franco. From what I saw, the entire movie is just skinny, heteronormative girls running around in skimpy bikinis and Franco mumbling through his bedazzled grill, “Spring Break fo’ever.”

Really America, have we stooped so low that some of us will pay to see this? We paid to have this movie made?

Look, I know not every film can be emotionally and intellectually satisfying. Some films are for pure entertainment alone and meant to be nothing more than enjoyable. That’s totally fine.

But if “Spring Breakers” is what I think it’s going to be, I’m over it. I’m over women being exploited and objectified by our culture. If this movie ends up being a satire, sorry, but it’s time to do satire smarter. I’m all for doing what you want with your body, but too many of the girls I teach over the summer view Selena Gomez as their role model. Selena, I know you’re smarter than letting yourself be objectified like that. Even if you did spend a solid portion of your late-teen years dating Justin Bieber, you aren’t that dumb.
Sorry to be a monster, but I hope this movie bombs. I hope it’s awful. I hope it’s career-ruining. I hope James Franco weeps himself to sleep at night because he participated in such a shit show.

Spring Break Fo’neva. Good night and goodbye.

1 Comment

  1. This is a shameful piece of journalism. It’s not the best idea to review a movie based on its trailer. It’s even worse when the author attacks the individual actors/actresses involved with the film (including Franco, who is one of the smartest people in Hollywood). It seems like the author assumed that the girls in this movie were bad role models just based on the way they were dressed in the trailer. If so, then the author of this piece is guilty of the objectification she so detests. I apologize to the author only if she was compelled to write this article for an assignment.

Comments are closed.