I am 21, and I can safely say that I have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life. I can’t believe that I’m at this point. I really thought by now, in the final months of my third-year of college, that I’d know what was best for me and what I was best for. But it’s already April, the rainiest and cruelest month of them all, and I have nothing to show for myself.
Okay, that’s bullshit. I have plenty to show for myself. But, I’m tired of people, mainly adults (successful adults) asking me what I’ve finally decided to do with the rest of my days. I know I still have a year, but I feel closer and closer to Dustin Hoffman in “The Graduate.” Plastics.
So maybe you can help me. I’m an English major because I love reading. I’m a creative writing minor because I love to write. Go figure. I’ve got a journalism minor tucked in my belt because I figured, what the hell? More writing. Plus, I love talking to people and finding out their stories. People love to talk. Now I’m trying to finish a minor in history. You jumping on my train yet? I keep dabbling around at different ideas – one day even thinking of becoming a math major. But then I realized I haven’t studied math since senior year of high school, so screw that. But still, no job at the moment is for me.
I have an interview for an arts magazine internship on Friday. I’m really freaking excited and hope to get the job, and hope it’ll push me into the right path. I’ve been saying for years that music writing is what I want to do. But I guess I’ve been pushing that away because I feel like I don’t know enough, or there are people out there that know more.(even though there are always people that are going to know more).
I guess what I’m really trying to say is that even though I can’t wait to graduate in Spring 2012, I don’t want to leave college. I want to keep studying everything until I find my niche. One of my best friends recently dropped out of college to pursue her music career. I think she’ll really make it. I’ve just started a band myself, and now I really see how she feels. Even my advisor told me he went on tour after school. Maybe that’s what I’ve got to do.
But no. These soon-to-be four years of college will not go to waste. I will find something to do. Hopefully you’ll be reading about me somewhere, sometime, doing something. Yeah, that makes sense.
I know I’m not alone. I know there are plenty of you out there, possibly even those just about to graduate, who are scared out of their minds. Plus, in the type of world we’re living in, it’s really scary out there. You gotta branch out of your little bubble of New Paltz. And if you’re reading this and already have your life planned out…well, you suck. No but really, good for you. I hope everything works out.
Maybe I’ll just go back to my childhood dreams of when I wanted to be a cashier. Yeah, that sounds just right to me.