I realize it’s not Passover anymore, but I’m still reliving my glory days of being culturally torn at the seder table and rocking out to “The Prince of Egypt” soundtrack.
No celebration of Jews (my people) escaping the wrath of the Egyptians (also my people — awkward) is complete without a week of depriving myself of bread-like products.
Because carbs are my lifeline, I don’t even think about going seven days without pasta or the like, but I do try to maintain the no bread rule. This year, I made it from Monday to Thursday and then caved and ate a bagel. Oh well.
But during the four days I was going steady, I indulged in the traditional Passover food no one looks forward to eating: matzoh. Matzoh has often received criticism for being flavorless; a common complaint being that whether you eat matzoh or the cardboard box it comes in doesn’t matter, because they both taste the same.
However, enduring countless Passovers sans bread have taught me how to make the ugly duckling food of the holiday something tolerable — dare I say exciting — to eat.
What you’ll need:
Please don’t be fooled by this relatively normal recipe. I still wear the “worst cook on the Copy Desk” crown and plan to never use actual appliances when “cooking.”
Hence, get your microwaves out. Break off a piece of matzoh, slab on a dollop of tomato sauce and pour a generous helping of cheese onto your masterpiece. Behold, matzoh pizza. Now, place it in the microwave for the infamous nine minutes (thanks, mama Bev) and wait. Take it out, let it cool (or don’t let it cool, I don’t really care) and eat. Cardboard? I think not.