Copy Desk Cookoff: Salmon BLT


One month after returning from winter break is just enough time to start missing real, fresh food. Food so fresh you catch it with your bare hands. I love to take advantage of some amazing local ingredients.

So, first go out into the Shawangunk Mountains and find a roaring river. Jump fully clothed and wrestle some salmon into a baggie. If this is after hydrofracking goes into effect in New York, please substitute with the mutated, fewest-heads-available equivalent. Your cook time may vary.

Once your salmon are freshly ziplocked, carry them back to your dorm room. No water left for the long trek back? No problem — just squeeze your socks.

Oh, and don’t forget to swing by the grocery store to pick up some bacon. Catching pigs in the wild probably requires some sort of spear, like on “Survivor,” and college students can’t have pointy objects. Tuck the bacon around the salmon like a bacon blanket.

Once you convince your roommate that you are dry enough to operate a hair dryer, blast the fillets with the hairdryer until the salmon reaches 145 degrees and the bacon is crisp. Or you could just use a saute pan like those experimental chefs.

Slab your cooked salmon on French baguettes and top with fresh spinach. Whether you plead a French baker or not is up to you. It may or may not involve a bun in the oven.