Reflections – Nate Sheidlower

I guess they call it a tarmac. I don’t know. Looks more like a drag strip to me.

That said, the fastest things moving out there are the fumes rapidly escaping through the jet’s asshole, and they don’t even touch the pavement.

I wonder how many parked planes it would take to cause a warm front? They talk about global warming because of China’s giant industrial districts; New York sure looks to be playing it’s own role.

Flight’s delayed for some broken computer. Laptop died. Forgot notebook at home …

They say they’ll give us the movies for free because of how long we’re waiting. As if free entertainment is going to get me there on time. Then again, I’m not in a rush. Why would I be? I don’t have to be on campus until morning. It is morning.

Now they say they’re going to turn off the plane while they replace the computer and the lights will go off for a few minutes. “How will we see?” It’s the middle of the damn day, open a window! Some people, man.

Pilot waving his big hands everywhere but can’t seem to make them fix the computer.

Paid good money to defy the laws of gravity, ruin my sense of time and space and help pollute the ozone. Let’s get on with it! It’s such an American thing to value my own time. It helps no one but me, therefore it harms no one but me. So why do I care when it’s wasted?

Someone forgot their lighter in the lavatory. It’s white. Bet it was that girl who went in there with the water bottle and came out looking scared. Drugs these days.

Ever cut a piece of clay in half using a piano wire? I feel like that is what would happen to me if this plane fell out of the sky and I still had my seatbelt on. Apparently some NAVY helicopters are falling out of the sky. But they catch fire first. Gotta warn everyone down below. You know how it is, “Heads up!”

Could there be live music on a plane? They got TVs. Sid didn’t even play on the damn album. Still makes it to the merch. As if one ink stain wasn’t enough.

Now I’ll miss you all, but since I’d get yelled at:

Lief, you gave me the job and for that I’m forever grateful. Abbott, I hope that one day I get a job and when I walk in on my first day some shmuck is giving me the lay of the land and when he introduces me to the “scary” boss, it’s you. Until then, peace out.

Jen, you always let me write what I wanted and re-write some questionable ledes. I guess saying you believed in me is too gushy, but thanks.

Anthony (DeRosa), if ever I had a question, you had an answer. And thank you for making it so I wasn’t the only one to sit in the back row and slack off at the computer. Looks like so much less of a crime when you’re not alone.

Zameena, I think I can honestly say you’ve given me more advice outside of the newsroom than in it. But that’s ok because it was all good and now I am off to grad school as well. Muchas gracias y buena suerte en sus aventuras.

Karl, I don’t know how but you were always in my class and I’m not complaining. You even made TLR tolerable cause you’re a funny guy and a good friend. Same goes to you Russell, you and I will always be on defense not because we can’t attack but because we work well together and sometimes that’s the most important thing. I’m gonna miss you guys but I know this ain’t the end.

Melanie, you’ve gotten mad good at cheating and it’s not ok. But no, I really will miss our card games and while I may be going deep, but that doesn’t mean I’m leaving so don’t try to make djank a thing or I’ll know. Oh, and uh, Part Four, line VIII.

Sam, you’ve been in it with me from the very start and in that time you’ve taught me more than I even realize. I’m sure over time that will become more and more true.

Melissa, you are one of the most dedicated people I know. Don’t ever lose that because there already aren’t enough of you out there to keep slackers like me from making a mess. I’ll see you on ESPN.

Amanda, you are just the best as I’m sure many others will agree. May your mattress always be soft and your sight always set towards the future.

Jack, you know what you gotta do which is more than I can say for most folks including myself. Keep having your ideas, maybe one day you’ll have one so brilliant the water will go back into the shower head.

Mike, when I set the record for getting five hits in three at bats I want you writing my profile for Sports Illustrated. No questions asked. As much shit as I may give you, you really are a good journalist and I know you’ll go very far.

Jon Perry, you are the best ringer there is. I know you were only on staff a semester but you’ve proved you’re reliable and hard-working. Gotta get that cheating down though. Ask Mel.

Kintura, we made it. Let’s keep on making it until it’s made, then we’ll argue about whether or not to break it and start again. But you’ll win cause you always do and I love you for it.

Anthony (Orza), I know you were going to find us anyway but I still take credit for recruiting you. I’m glad I remembered to go to Bosch’s class that day, and I hope you stick with this very unreliable profession of ours.

Monique, I know we haven’t really gotten to know each other too well but I feel like you’ve gotten more free with your writing and that’s made it all the better. If I call you one day with the craziest grammar question ever conceived by man, know that whatever answer you give me, I will trust.

Jess, just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be great where ever you are. Oh and keep questioning things, it’s just generally a good idea, you never know what you’ll hear.

Rachael, I’m glad you’re in news now because you’re very good at it. Not that you can’t do sports too, but you have a good work ethic for news and it shows. I hope you can see it too.

Kristen, thank you for giving me the opportunity to let you stop all of my radical ideas. But more importantly thank you for letting some through. If we ever con our way into these jobs again, I promise to have a whole new batch for you. And stand in that corner once before you go, it changes your whole perspective.

For those of you who didn’t stop after your line, I’m here to tell you that you should have because I got nothing more to say. Goodnight.