Top Ten Folks You’ll Find in New Paltz

This list was created with the most jovial and benevolent intentions possible. New Paltz is a great place filled with awesome people– it’s just really fun to laugh at the characters we see every day, to remark on their similarities and differences. Rock on, weirdos of New Paltz!!

1. THEATRE STUDENTS

You never have to cajole a theatre major into conversation. For me, that’s so cool; I’d much rather listen than shoulder the burden of talking myself. Wherever you go in New Paltz, it isn’t hard to find a theatre major, and they have no problem making themselves known. As loud as they can occasionally be, they’re among the most active and dedicated people on campus. 

2. STUDENT ATHLETES

You know them when you see them. 

3. NYPIRG PEOPLE

Is it a cult? Do they keep a large portion of the money they raise themselves? No, I’m asking. 

4. FRAT/SORORITY PEOPLE

These are actual cults. Proven. 

5. PEOPLE WHO ROCK CLIMB 

I wish I could scale on the sides of mountains; the power you people have!

6. COPS

Cops. Everywhere. 

7. NEW PALTZ SAD BOYS

Find them at a house show, buying soup at Karma Road, or stubbing out their Marlboros in front of Humanities. 

8. GRANOLA PARENTS

The parents of New Paltz are a really neat group. Many are super engaged politically with what’s going on around town, and can often be found protesting in front of Elting Library.

9. TEENAGERS EVERYWHERE

I don’t know when it was written into law that if you’re a teenager in New Paltz you have to be out and about at all times. Seriously, these kids are EVERYWHERE. Maybe it just sticks out so much because it’s such a small town. You can’t walk around town without practically tripping on them. 

10. ORACLE STAFF

You can find us in the SUB till midnight (or later on Wednesdays) eating those $8 prepackaged sandwiches from Nester’s. Probably twitching a little bit, definitely tired, perhaps with a big camera. 

Through everything, we have a couple of things in common. We all look off at Mohonk with glee whenever the sky is the least bit pretty, we all have a favorite convenience store, and we’re all really goddamn tired for no discernable reason. Welcome back, everyone!!!